Quotes and Quips

Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat.
– – – Lillian Johnson

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
– – – Missy Dizick

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe murderer.
– – – Paula Poundstone

There are no ordinary cats.
– – – Colette

Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.
– – – William S. Burroughs

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.
– – – Mary Bly

Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner.
– – – Stephen Baker

Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.
– – – Alan Ayckbourn “Table Manners”

Drowsing, they take the noble attitude of a great sphinx, who, in a desert land, sleeps always, dreaming dreams that have no end.
– – – Charles Baudelaire “The Cat”

A cat isn’t fussy – just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor.
– – – Arthur Bridges

Any household with at least one feline member has no need for an alarm clock.
– – – Louise A. Belcher

Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.

– – – Dr Louis J. Camuti

A Poet’s Cat, sedate and grave
As poet well could wish to have,
Was much addicted to inquire
For nooks to which she might retire,
And where, secure as mouse in chink,
She might repose, or sit and think.
– – – William Cowper

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
– – – T. S. Eliot

When the tea is brought at five o’clock
And all the neat curtains are drawn with care,
The little black cat with bright green eyes
Is suddenly purring there.
– – – Harold Monro “Milk for the Cat”

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, where have you been?
I’ve been to London to look at the Queen.
Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you there?
I frightened a little mouse under the chair.
– – – Mother Goose

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
– – – Mark Twain

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy….Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it’s often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.
– – – P. J. O’Rourke

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
– – – Abraham Lincoln

When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes.
– – – T. S. Eliot

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
– – – W. C. Fields

Cats sleep
Anywhere,
Any table,
Any chair,
Top of piano,
Window-ledge,
In the middle,
On the edge,
Open drawer,
Empty shoe,
Anybody’s
Lap will do,
Fitted in a
Cardboard box,
In the cupboard
With your frocks-
Anywhere!
They don’t care!
Cats sleep
Anywhere
– – – Eleanor Farjeon

I gave my cat a bath the other day … they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that . . .
– – – Steve Martin

When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime for her more than she is to me?
– – – Michel deMontaigne

People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
– – – Faith Resnick

One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it’s affection, the taste, or a trial run for the jugular.
– – – Helen Thomson

Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
– – – John Weitz

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
– – – Alfred North Whitehead

My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.
– – -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Whether they be the musician cats in my band or the real cats of the world, they all got style.
– – -Ray Charles

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
– – -Rodney Dangerfield

It’s really the cats house. I just pay the mortgage.
– – -Author unknown

Cats do not think that they are little people.
They think that we are big cats.
This influences their behaviour in many ways.
– – -Author unknown

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings,
but a cat does not.
– – -Ernest Hemingway

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
– – -Benjamin Franklin

Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
– – -Helen Powers

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